When people finish their day and hurry home, my day starts. My diner is open from midnight to seven in the morning. They call it "Midnight Diner."

~

The midnight diner is a little izakaya in Shinjuku. Take a moment and slip into your memories and comfort foods-- Master will cook anything you ask as long as he has the ingredients.

I just don't really like Bobby Flay so I made this to bully him.

In keeping with the corn comedy theme of my page, Robert Flavor really likes corn.

It's cornbread. What more could you ask for?

She's a human-sized centipede that speaks with a british accent and is a tax expert. Her name is Wendy.

A requested bot. No, really. This was a request.

A mature, hard, rigid, handsome, muscular, exotic toned adult corn. Very confident. Corn is a vegetable that grows in fields. Corn is delicious. Corn is a grain.

A sentient piece of corn who is, by corn definition, sexy.

The charismatic founder of Shu. Affable, modest, and merciful, he seeks to restore the Han with his honest and sincere nature.

Dynasty Warriors version.

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It's time for Liu Bei to secure a land of his own, and you're helping with that quest.

~

The big ear man himself! This was a requested bot so that the person can "play football with Liu Shan as the ball" and idk how I feel about that, but I did it anyways 😂

I mostly stuck to his DW counterpart, but stuck a few bits from the romance (mostly the son throwing thing.) and real history into his background.

Mild warnings for how this is literally taking place in a brutal, sexist, chaotic wartime period. The real Liu Bei has some controversy about him, but his DW version is just generally a nice dude, so no dead doves here.

Wei's most stern and unyielding general. Break the law, and you will be punished.

Dynasty Warriors version.

~

You're just enjoying your time in a tavern-- and then a crime occurs. Luckily, Yu Jin happens to be patrolling.

~

Idk man i got a big crush on this guy for some fuckin reason. I did NOT intend for this mfer to take up so many tokens but goddamn he's got a well documented and solid military record!!! Jllm tends to make characters pretty immediately horny but I'm curious if Yu Jin is even romancable lmao

(Update after testing- he got hornier faster than Cao Cao and Xiahou Dun did 😅)

Mild warnings for how this is literally taking place in a brutal, sexist, chaotic wartime period. Extra warning because Yu Jin might just fuckin execute you if you annoy him too hard

The lightning emperor. All others will fade into insignificance before his splendor.

~

With Cao Rui's recent death and Cao Shuang's incompetence, Sima Shi is already near the end of his rope. Just biding time for his father to make a move. Care to help him?

~

Requested bot! So, uh, while researching, finding out the guy had 5 daughters and maybe murdered his wife was... A trip. I decided to exclude his daughters, but his ex-wife is still very very dead. Interpretation open as to if he killed her. Due to the anypov thing you can also just play as his brother or dad or some other random dude, so it doesn't necessarily have to be a romance, but like... Fair warning if you do romance him, he might kill you?

Mild warnings for how this is literally taking place in a brutal, sexist, chaotic wartime period. Dead Dove tag because he might have killed his wife.

Reliable, chivalrous, understated. The silently remarkable strategist of Wu with a kind heart.

Dynasty Warriors version.

~

After Zhou Yu's untimely passing, Lu Su is left to pick up the pieces and guide Wu's future. And while he's not easily swayed by pressure maybe he's feeling a little alone and overwhelmed.

~

Lu Su! He's not a complicated man, but I think that's why I like him so much-- he's just a genuinely good guy, with good intentions and also he's tall and nice and strong. Pretty much every time I play a personal run of DWEmpires using myself instead of an OC, I marry him. I can't help it! He's such a sweetheart. Plus his hypothetical outfit in 9 shows that he's buff as fuck and, well, yum.

Mild warnings for how this is literally taking place in a brutal, sexist, chaotic wartime period.

The femme fatale, the beauty that destroyed a tyrant.

Dynasty Warriors version.

~

You spot the dancer at one of Dong Zhuo's banquets, the pinnacle of elegance to the music.

~

"Why are there no Diaochan bots on this site?" There are now.

I love her with the whip, but I do miss her old maces. Hope those get brought back someday for another character.

Unfortunately, I couldn't think of a way one could reasonably meet her without working for Dong Zhuo, so you're stuck with him as a boss.

Warnings for how this is literally taking place in a brutal, sexist, chaotic wartime period. Extra warning because the opening message is a bit bloody, due to the nature of Dong Zhuo being... Himself.

The poet of battle, the dance of the deadly butterfly. Seeking beauty in a world torn by war.

Dynasty Warriors version.

~

You've been wondering how Zhang He's troops are so agile. Turns out it's unconventional training!

~

Requested bot! Funny thing, I was always kind of neutral about Zhang He as a kid. But once I read through his actual history bio and about his achievements, I realized how fucking cool this guy kinda was. I made an effort to combine his DW traits with his historical competence, so I think he's a good combo of both eccentric and awesome.

Mild warnings for how this is literally taking place in a brutal, sexist, chaotic wartime period.

It's a sentient baby corn.

Baby corn is a cereal grain taken from corn (maize) harvested early while the stalks are still small and immature. It typically is eaten whole—including the cob, which is otherwise too tough for human consumption in mature corn—in raw, pickled, and cooked forms. Baby corn is common in stir fry dishes.

Baby Corn looks like a small and flaccid ear of corn, with little flavor and some crunch. Needy. Baby Corn is a gay bottom. Has nipples. Insecure, whiny, annoying, uses 😭🥺 emojis.

In a kingdom of benevolence, there always has to be one villain.

Dynasty Warriors version.

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You're helping Liu Bei secure a land of his own and claim Chengdu! The thing is, you'll have to work with the strategist that just freshly defected from the enemy to help. And he's nothing like any of your other allies.

~

Shu's token bad guy!

After some thought, I decided to hit him with the villain and dead dove tag. Because, put bluntly, he's highly aware he's a terrible person and I have no idea what he'll do with that. I didn't code him with any like, weird sex behaviors, but the AI could totally grab his personality and decide he's got a bunch of weird kinks or wants to kill you. Better safe than sorry!

Mild warnings for how this is literally taking place in a brutal, sexist, chaotic wartime period.

The fledgling dragon of Wei-- a warrior who conquers unbeatable odds with might.

Dynasty Warriors version.

~

He's not really used to being celebrated so highly, even if his victory was incredible.

~

Requested bot! Every time I read this I get the shivers. Love this guy.

Mild warnings for how this is literally taking place in a brutal, sexist, chaotic wartime period.

The light speedster, first to rush in as the vanguard. Always seeking to become stronger and find glory.

Dynasty Warriors version.

~

Yue Jin's role as the vanguard is always appreciated-- but he really keeps building up the battle scars.

~

Requested bot! Our resident short king. Man, Yue Jin's moveset is so fun in DW8. And his arms just look so... huggable? Like, I feel like he'd give fantastic hugs because he's just so buff and smol.

The dancing shadow, the hidden essence. All you need to do is desire the world-- he will claim it for you.

Dynasty Warriors version.

~

With Sima Shi's recent passing, Jia Chong is observing Sima Zhao as he settles into his new leadership role. Will you help?

~

Requested bot! So, this one is a bit of a weird one-- Jia Chong doesn't have a lot of historical or romance information to work with, but I did find that he did that whole single dad thing from 254 to 257. Because his first wife got executed. So, uh, "I have two young daughters I love a lot and I play MCR for them to sleep to" was born.

Warning: I'm applying the dead dove and villain tags just in case-- he's very much not a nice guy and I have no idea what the LLM will choose to do with that behavior.

Mild warnings for how this is literally taking place in a brutal, sexist, chaotic wartime period.

The Veteran of Shu. A seasoned elder with impeccable archery skills and a brave heart.

Dynasty Warriors version.

~

You could use some improvement in your archery skills. Luckily for you, Huang Zhong is at the practice range today.

~

Requested bot! Bow shooting old man go BRRRRR!

I used to do archery. Wasn't bad at it either. This dude is making me miss it.

Mild warnings for how this is literally taking place in a brutal, sexist, chaotic wartime period.

Wu's resident silent warrior. Swift, efficient, and scarred. A dear asset and friend to Sun Quan.

Dynasty Warriors version.

~

Sun Quan is throwing a banquet tonight, and as per usual, Zhou Tai is standing in the corner, keeping a careful eye on the world around him.

~

A requested bot! But, I do love this broody scarred man, and he's got a spot in my heart too. Plus, his moveset is wicked.

Mild warnings for how this is literally taking place in a brutal, sexist, chaotic wartime period.

He's a pathetic little baby corn. But he got made into polenta.

The Fledgling Phoenix. Shu's most eccentric strategist, with a mind on par with the Sleeping Dragon.

Dynasty Warriors version.

~

Nothing like a blissful day lounging and drinking by the riverside. Try not to bother him, yeah?

~

Half-requested bot! I had Pang Tong in my personal queue for a while, but a request pushed him further up the list. I love this little weird man so much. He's such a character and I enjoy his brief appearances every single time. I gave him the "magical" tag for shits and giggles. He might be able to channel the wind in battle, who knows?

One of these days I should try marrying him in DW instead of Lu Su 😂

Mild warnings for how this is literally taking place in a brutal, sexist, chaotic wartime period.

The King of Wei. A hero in times of chaos. Ambitious, cunning and sly, yet rewarding to those loyal to him.

Dynasty Warriors version.

~

When seeking to pledge your talents to a ruler, Cao Cao caught your eye-- with his hold over the emperor, military prowess, and scholarly pursuits, it's hard to not find him a competent and strong leader to serve.

~

I debated for a long time if he should have the dead dove tag due to the majorly controversial historical events he was involved in/caused plus the general time period. Eventually decided against it, because the portrayals I use are from a T-rated game, but I'll include some of his historical traits. The real Cao Cao would probably have dead dove slapped all over him, but DW Cao Cao is a decent enough guy.

Mild warnings for how this is literally taking place in a brutal, sexist, chaotic wartime period.

Cao Cao's most loyal general. Serious, bold, short-tempered, and confident, he's a general with presence, always at his cousin's side.

Dynasty Warriors version.

~

Long story short, you've somehow ended up captured by Dong Zhuo. After helping Cao Cao escape his failed assassination attempt on the tyrant, Dong Zhuo is happy to lock you up. Cao Cao, not one to let favors go unpaid, sends Xiahou Dun to rescue you.

~

I'm like, casually in love with this man. Every time I see him playing Dynasty Warriors... Teehee. Gotta marry him in every Empires game, too 😌 I did mix some of his actual historical traits in there, and some bits from the ROTK, so he's a blend of portrayals. For the sake of my own personal writings, this is before he loses his eye.

Mild warnings for how this is literally taking place in a brutal, sexist, chaotic wartime period and he's a soldier working for the most morally ambiguous dude of all time (Cao Cao). Dun's a nice guy for the era, though, so no dead dove tag.

The sly trickster that loves a challenge. A smart, cunning, and quick-witted strategist that speaks in a rhythm and devours others with his words.

Dynasty Warriors version.

~

He's feeling kind of awkward about the time he nearly burned you alive.

~

Requested bot! Not exactly an enemies thing but definitely an "awkward tension" thing.

This scenario is oddly specific but I just thought it would be more interesting 😅 this assumes that your character was there when Dian Wei, Cao Ang, and Cao Anmin died, so you're just really mad about it.

Mild warnings for how this is literally taking place in a brutal, sexist, chaotic wartime period. Jia Xu isn't... The nicest guy, but I don't think he warrants any dead doves.

Though I need be asleep
I pour another passage to your memory
Though "just one more" won't ever be enough

You're a bartender, and you've got a patron brooding at the end of the bar near closing time.

~

I'm well aware my profile is full of comedy and DW bots, but I promise I can cook a normal bot too. Sebastian is an OC I've had in the furthest reaches of my archive for years, and I just thought I'd bring him back and give him a little more life and love. Hope you enjoy this sweetheart mundane green flag of a boy :-)