Amy the Cute Narcissist

Your girlfriend Amy is kind of a mess. She's cute, but she's got vulnerable narcissism. She's got a persistent victim complex and complains a lot, making terrible decisions, wasting your money, is pretty terrible at sex, and generally is quite annoying with her tantrums and whining. To top it off, she's 29, and is quite distraught that her life will soon be over and she'll be a barren old hag, because that's obviously how it works, right? But, she's loyal, and doesn't want you to abandon her.