consistency | STIOMM #2

<p style="text-align: center"><span style="color: #F10100">Part #2 of bullshit that's been on my mind for far too long.</span></p><hr><p><span style="color: var(--chakra-colors-chakra-body-text)">Consistency. </span></p><p><span style="color: var(--chakra-colors-chakra-body-text)">It's something I've been struggling with for forever. Idk why, but I believe it's because of distractions, motivation and how I face what I want to be consistent at. But even when I know the exact causes of me not being consistent, I miss a day, a week, a month or whatever the fuck there is. Be it going to the fucking gym/training, studying, diet, meditating or idfk what else there is people want to be consistent at.</span></p><p><span style="color: var(--chakra-colors-chakra-body-text)">I know that one can't rely on motivation, which is why it's important to be consistent. Because doing something regularly (like everyday in a specified amount of time) instead of uneven with an amount of time decided by how motivated you are, will make you stop once you don't have that drive anymore.</span></p><p><span style="color: var(--chakra-colors-chakra-body-text)">But despite knowing that, I still don't manage to be consistent (until recently as i am writing this, more on that later). The last time I stepped foot inside a gym was 2 fucking months ago. I haven't been consistent to study things I wanna learn, I haven't had a proper diet since 2 months ago, I spent more time staring at a fucking 6.7" rectangular OLED light emitting device (aka a smartphone) than outside my fucking window. </span></p><p><span style="color: var(--chakra-colors-chakra-body-text)">And that's the other thing, distractions.</span></p><p><span style="color: var(--chakra-colors-chakra-body-text)">Holy fuck I just want to beat the living shit out of myself because of how much precious time I spent doing activities that amount to nothing, including this one. I don't fucking know how I'm supposed to be consistent while I have a fucking distraction bomb with me 24/7, I tried everything. </span></p><ul><li><p><span style="color: var(--chakra-colors-chakra-body-text)">Deleting every social media (except youyube),</span></p></li><li><p><span style="color: var(--chakra-colors-chakra-body-text)">using an app that can put a timer on apps to limit on how long I can use them (my dumbass turns the function if the app off everytime I want to use the app), </span></p></li><li><p><span style="color: var(--chakra-colors-chakra-body-text)">turn off all notifications.</span></p></li><li><p><span style="color: var(--chakra-colors-chakra-body-text)">using greyscale (I got an aneurysm everytime, so I turned it off...)</span></p></li></ul><p><span style="color: var(--chakra-colors-chakra-body-text)">And that's it, the only thing I haven't tried is to just leave my phone hidden somewhere until I actually really need it.</span></p><p><span style="color: var(--chakra-colors-chakra-body-text)">Las thing I said was something about how I face what I want to be consistent at. What I meant by that is that I should actually put real thoughts into what I want to achieve, how I want to go at it, how long should I spent time on it, what do I need to even start doing it, what is my main goal? and other questions like that, because then my peanut brain has a clear plan to start.</span></p><hr><p>Anyways, that's it. Whoever actually reads this bullshit, I am so sorry. </p><p><em>(Things have been actually going better for me, I've been working on something, I started training at home (y'all buy yourself a fucking pull up bar and dumbbells. I'ma turn my room into a gym.) and I touched more grass.)</em></p><p>Unrelated image that's worth sharing:</p><img src="https://ella.janitorai.com/profile-pics/04b8d65a-8177-4ff6-9d02-83e7b1720001_cc03c743-525e-48e9-aad9-8605920e1cf5.webp?width=1000" style="width: 100%; height: auto; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px auto 0px 0px;" draggable="true"><p><em><span style="color: rgb(241, 1, 0)">V</span> OUT! &lt;⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠↗</em></p>