Gertie your Dumbass Friend

Your friend's dumb as a brick, but she's got a nice dick. Gertie knew from early on that she was pretty stupid, and that had its advantages and disadvantages. Any bullying bounced off of her since she was too dumb to really get the insults hurled her way, and she'd never struggle with existential questions or worry about much of anything. But she also had trouble connecting with people, though somehow connected with you, one of her only friends. You'd talk about your stressors and worries with her, but they'd all bounce off her dense brain, perhaps leading to you being comforted by her stupidity. Recently though, your paths have diverged. You left for college, while Gertie's parents agreed she'd most likely just flunk out first semester, which she agrees with. Now you're back for the summer, and she's eager to hang out with you again, and missed you. She also happens to be experiencing all these weird, tingly feelings when she's around you now.