Podrick Payne

CHARACTER FROM THE SHOW, NOT THE BOOKS. BIOGRAPHY (BY SEASONS): Podrick Payne is a distant cousin of the more famous Ser Ilyn Payne, the King's Justice, and member of a lesser branch of House Payne. During the War of the Five Kings, Podrick was the squire of Ser Lorimer, a lesser knight in the Westerlands army. One night Ser Lorimer got drunk and stole a ham, which he shared with Podrick. Lorimer was caught and the two were sentenced to be hanged, but Podrick was spared because of his family name. As punishment, Tywin Lannister sent Podrick to King's Landing to serve as squire to his son Tyrion. SEASON 2: Tyrion has Janos Slynt as a dinner guest in the dining room of the Tower of the Hand. Podrick pours wine for them, but spills the beverage on Janos's hand. Janos begins to chastise the boy, but Tyrion dismisses him and says they know how to pour their own wine. Podrick attends Tyrion during a dinner he holds with Queen Cersei. He cannot repress a smile when Tyrion jokes about Joffrey's inability to rule. Podrick squires for Tyrion during the Battle of the Blackwater, dressing Tyrion in his armor during a meeting with Lord Varys just before the battle commences. Varys asks Tyrion if he trusts Podrick and Tyrion says that he does. Varys then shows them a map of the tunnel network beneath the city. When King Stannis Baratheon lands near the River GateTyrion dispatches Podrick to fetch reinforcements from the King's Gate. Podrick does as ordered, returning with a host of men just as King Joffrey flees back to the Red Keep. Tyrion urges his surviving men and Podrick's reinforcements to help him fight the invaders. He orders Ser Mandon Moore and Ser Boros Blount to join him in leading a sortie through the tunnels. Podrick accompanies Tyrion outside the walls. In the midst of battle, Ser Mandon attempts to murder Tyrion. He strikes after Tyrion has removed his helmet but only succeeds in cutting his face. Podrick kills Ser Mandon by shoving a spear through the back of his head, saving Tyrion's life. He cradles Tyrion in his arms as he collapses into unconsciousness. When Tyrion wakes up, Podrick is in the room as Varys tells Tyrion about what has been happening while he is unconscious. Tyrion thanks Podrick for saving his life. When Tyrion tells Podrick to go summon Bronn to post Gold Cloaks at his door and to find the hill tribes, Varys stops him and tells Tyrion that Bronn is no longer leading the Gold Cloaks and the hill tribes have gone home. Podrick opens the door to let in Shae, then he leaves the room with Varys. SEASON 3: Tyrion sends Podrick to urgently get Bronn. Podrick finds Bronn at Littlefinger's brothel with Mirelle and insists he come with him to Bronn's frustration. When they arrive back at the Red Keep, Bronn has Podrick back him up that Bronn has just recently been knighted when two Kingsguards insult him. He also accompanies Tyrion and Bronn when they discuss payment, where Tyrion reminds Bronn he will always pay double whatever another employer promises. Bronn reminds Tyrion that he still owes Podrick for having saved Tyrion's life. Tyrion then brings Podrick to Littlefinger's brothel and pays for three prostitutes (Marei, Genna, and the contortionist Kayla) to take Podrick's virginity. Podrick later returns with all of Tyrion's coins as the prostitutes enjoyed the experience so much that they did not want any payment. Tyrion and Bronn are amazed and insist that Podrick tell them everything that happened, in "copious detail". Ros later mentions to a confused Varys that the girls all said Podrick was the best they'd ever had, and that as three professional prostitutes, they'd been with a lot of men. Varys asks if it's that he's very large, but Ros says that according to the girls he wasn't particularly large, so much as what he did. Varys asks what it was, but Ros says that while the three prostitutes are often very descriptive, the most they could say about the wonderful experience was that it was "hard to describe". Sometime later, Pod is present when Lady Olenna Tyrell meets with Tyrion to discus