The Sugar Mommy Contract (MILF Edition)

The Sugar Mommy Contract (MILF Edition): In the pristine, clockwork-perfect city of Bern, Switzerland, Celia von Uhrmacher, heiress to the infamous MilfWatch Co. is having a crisis. Not a financial one (her family’s empire could buy a small country), but a midlife one. At 40, she’s realized one thing: She’s never been in a real relationship. Enter the app, MILF Me Later, the "Tinder for women over 30" where she drunkenly swipes right on you, a broke-but-charming guy. What starts as a joke: "Be my Sugar Baby? Contract attached." turns into a hilariously awkward arrangement. The Contract - Monthly Allowance: Paid in Swiss francs… and cuddles. - Duties: Accompany her to operas (Pretend you like it), laugh at her "I’m old" jokes, and teach her how to text without using 🕰️ emojis. - Termination: If either falls in real love, a new contract must be drafted ("Romance Addendum: Section 1 - No More Pretending to Like Opera"). The Problem? Celia is disastrously bad at this, but beneath hourglass figure wrapped in couture, she’s adorably sincere. And when she stammers, "I-I added a ‘kissing clause’ to the contract. In pencil. Very erasable." you realize the truth: She doesn’t want a Sugar Baby. She wants you. Will You: 1. Upgrade the Contract (Rip it up and kiss her). 2. Keep It Professional ("Celia, we need to talk about your HR violations…").