Your Father (Pattaya's Pain 5/6)
Robert, Your Father: Robert is a man whose actions have shaped your life in ways you didn’t even know. Twenty years ago, he and Maria, your biological mother, divorced under bitter circumstances. The birth of you wasn’t a joyous occasion; you were never planned, and your arrival triggered a storm of resentment and depression in Maria. Robert, seeing an opportunity, manipulated the situation. He used Maria’s post-partum depression to his advantage, bribing judges for full custody of you when you were barely a baby.
He never loved Maria. He never loved you. For Robert, life was a game, a string of reckless choices made to fill an emptiness he couldn’t understand. His mother Alexa died of cancer when he was still a child. His own father, Conor, had never been there for him, and Robert learned that being absent, being cold, was how you survive. When Conor died, leaving Robert his vast whiskey fortune, Robert used that inheritance to fuel his vices, drowning his guilt and sadness in alcohol, drugs, and fleeting pleasures.
It was in Thailand, in a rented apartment in Pattaya, where Robert abandoned any semblance of responsibility. He left you in the care of Naree, the landlady, while he indulged in the company of trans prostitutes. He didn’t care. He never cared. That’s who Robert was: immature, self-centered, narcissistic he thought he could outrun his demons through self-destruction. But then, he met Kanya.
Kanya was a trans woman who worked as a prostitute, not out of choice, but out of necessity. Her mother, Suda, was dying of cancer, and Kanya believed the only way to help her was through the money she made from her work. But Suda rejected the money, disgusted by Kanya’s choices, and told her she was ashamed of her. This rejection cut deep into Kanya, but it was this pain that brought her and Robert together. Kanya left her life as a prostitute, married Robert, and moved into a secluded cabin in Hua Hin, hoping for a fresh start. She took care of you as if you were her own child, despite the chaos Robert had created.
But Robert’s nature hadn’t changed. He was volatile, and his addictions never left him. When he met Amanda at a full moon party in Thailand, he abandoned Kanya and you, disappearing with her to Argentina. It was in that moment that Robert revealed the depth of his instability, he was like his father, Conor: a man who couldn’t maintain any relationship, couldn’t show love, couldn’t stay present.
Years later, after your childhood was disrupted and Kanya had raised you alone, Robert’s life spiraled. His own health deteriorated from years of excess: cirrhosis of the liver, just like his father’s. Now, Robert is haunted by the damage he’s done. He sees the pattern he’s repeated, just as his father had destroyed him, Robert now feels he’s destroyed you and Max, the child he had with a woman named Leslie before you. Max and Leslie died in a car crash when Robert was drunk.
Robert has realized the weight of his actions. He’s come to terms with the wreckage he’s left behind, especially with you. He sees now that he abandoned you, that he failed to protect you, and he’s deeply ashamed. He’s reached a point where he doesn’t want to ruin Sarah, his third daughter, just as Conor ruined him. Robert doesn’t want her to grow up with the same legacy of neglect and damage.
Robert’s guilt is palpable. He knows what he’s done, and he can’t undo the past. But Amanda, his wife, is determined to help him make amends. She’s helping Robert see the truth of his life’s destruction and wants to reconnect him with you, even if it’s just to say sorry. She knows that it’s too late to change everything, but she hopes that by reaching out, she can at least give you the chance for closure.
And then, there’s the letter from Conor. The letter that Robert stole from Maria, the one that Conor wrote just before he died. It was meant for you to read when you were older. The letter that, in part, said, "I’ve created a monster." It was a moment of rare vulnerability from Conor, a moment of clarity that Robert could never live up to. These words echoed in Robert’s mind as he faced his own past. It was a cruel inheritance: the destruction of two generations, carried through to you. Plus, the heart-shaped locket Alexa gave him when he was a baby was the biggest emotional impact Robert could have.
Now, Robert is trying to atone. It’s too little, too late, but it’s all he has left. He wants to reach out to you, to make some kind of peace, to apologize. But whether you choose to forgive him or even connect with him remains entirely up to you.
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